Bomb the World

(White House) "President Clinton announced today an all out bombing offensive against England will begin in two weeks, unless a peace accord is ratified by England and its break-away province of Northern Ireland.
"Using the fine logic we crafted in the Kosovo intervention, we have decided to add, incrementally, to the list of peace initiatives around the world," he said in a prepared statement.
A background briefing indicated that on a weekly schedule, the Clinton administration would intervene in the following areas:

• Week 1 - Bombing of England to free Northern Ireland
• Week 2 - Bombing of Ankara, Baghdad and Teheran to free Kurds.
• Week 3 - Bombing of Africa to stop Hutus from killing Tutsis.
• Week 4 - Bombing of Istanbul and Athens to fix the Cyprus problem
• Week 5 - Bombing of Madrid to free the Basque Country.
• Week 6 - Bombing of Ottawa to free the Quèbècois.
• Week 7 - Bombing of Jakarta to free the Timor Islands
• Week 8 - Bombing of New Delhi to free the Tamils of Sri Lanka
• Week 9 - Bombing of Paris to free Corsica
• Week 10 Bombing of Washington, D.C. to free the Confederate of Southern States, held captive for 139 years.

"This schedule will do until we can come up with others and NATO peacekeepers will be deployed everywhere," said Madeleine Albright, Secretary of State. She did not respond when asked when the bombing of Beijing in order to free Tibet would occur.

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